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     Chapter Eleven    //More  CLIC Connection Principles         yd22      yd22            gr         gr   27 Nov 2012   

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Chapter Eleven  

More CLI Connection Principles



Where Does God Belong?:.


Spirituality again?   I still don’t understand how God, or the Divine Source, as you call it, can be involved in sex parties?   I know you’re not kidding, so how can you defend such a position?”

Stoney, your statement expresses a classic, old-time, establishment perspective, and, as part of your statement and your question, you’ve made four unsubstantiated assumptions, all four of which are false.” 

I did?”


I know by the look in your eye, that you’re going to tell me, but let me ask anyway.   So what?” 

So your assumptions have you living in a fantasy world, that’s what.”

They do?   How?”

As I’ve told you before, your logic and reasoning may be pristine and sound, but if your logic is based on a false foundation, then you’re living in a fantasy world.”

I ask, “What do you mean?   How can I be living in a fantasy world?”

Your statement says you are.”

Okay, what’s my fantasy?”

The best way to answer that is to look at your four unsubstantiated assumptions.   Before we do, let me clarify my own assumptions.  First, by your question and the emotional energy that you asked it with, I’m assuming that you believe in the existence of some kind of invisible energy source that is commonly referred to as Creator or God?”   Am I correct? 


My second assumption is that someone who does not believe in Creator/God would not be concerned about the relationship between God and sex.”

That seems reasonable.”

Then on to your four assumptions.   Your first assumption is that God belongs in some places and not in others.   Do you believe God belongs only in church?”

No, I’m not saying that.”

Well, then what are you saying?   Please tell me what God can be involved in and what He can’t be involved in.”

I stammer for a moment, and before I can get my foot out of my mouth, Jazbell continues.   “Whatever it is that we call Creator/God is the ultimate source of everything.   Creator/God is everything.   Creator/God created everything.   As the Christians say it, ‘God is all present, all knowing and all powerful’.”

Wait a minute,” I say.   “I didn’t intend to get into an argument, or even a discussion about what God is or isn’t, or even if there is a God.   Besides, what does any of this have to do with CLI Circles.”

Jazbell laughs at my confusion.  “That’s just the point,” she says.   “God is every place, every thing, and every action in the entire universe.   God is cow dung, and God is also roses, sunshine, and diamonds.   God is everything you could possibly imagine and so much more that none of us can even begin to imagine.

     And by your statement, you’re assuming that God is out of place and should be excluded from a party whose ultimate theme and goal is Love, Care, and Intimacy; that God should be excluded from a CLI Circle gatherings because there we share the most universal human pleasure, sensuality, and we carry that sensuality to the ultimate level of human joy, orgasm.

     Short of taking a powerful hallucinogenic drug, you will never get closer to God while in a human body than you will while in the state of ecstasy called orgasm.   Orgasm is the Divine Ecstasy expressing itself in a physical body, and you’re now trying to tell me that God is out of place at such an event.   So who’s kidding whom here?”

I just sit there with my chin on my chest looking at her.   She looks back smiling at me with her warm loving eyes.   “Are you done?” I manage to ask. 

Well, yes and no.   Yes, I’m done with your first assumption, and no, I still have three more to go.”

I start to laugh.   Pointing to the kitchen, I say, “I think I’ll sit out there on top of the refrigerator while you share the next three.”



CLI Circles as Distinct from Sex parties:.

Jazbell continues, “Stoney, I don’t mean to get on your case.   I’m just offering you a perspective on your thinking process that you probably never thought of before.

Thanks, Jazz.   I did give you permission to do that.   What is the next assumption?”

From someone who has never been to a CLIC gathering and who has only the barest of intellectual introductions to a CLIC, I hear an assumption about what a CLI Circle is.   I hear the CLI Circles being labeled as ‘sex parties.’   Have you ever been to a sex party?”

No,” I say.

Then how do you know what a sex party is?”

I’ve seen them depicted in films and TV programs.   I’ve also read stories that talked about sex parties.”

So based on hearsay and fantasy stories, you have come to a conclusion about what a sex party is.   Please define for me what you mean by a sex party.”

I say, “A sex party is party that people go to with the intention of having casual, recreational sex with someone who is not their wife or husband.”

When you say ‘have sex’ do you mean have sexual intercourse?”


Well,” says Jazbell, “that’s definitely different from what occurs at CLI Circle gatherings.   As I told you earlier, refraining from sexual intercourse is a basic and specifically stated agreement in any CLI Circle gathering.”

Yes, I recall you saying that.”

And so, in spite of what I previously told you about the restrictions on sexual intercourse and without even the slightest bit of experiential evidence as to what either a sex party is or what a CLI Circle gathering is, you expressed an automatic and all-but-unconsciously-made judgment that they are one and the same.”

Yes, you’re right.   I did.   I’m sorry.”

Don’t be sorry.   There’s nothing to be sorry about, nor did you do anything wrong.   My concern is about your thinking process and not about your conclusions.   What you have just expressed comes from the typical kind of thinking that most of us were taught as children.”

I don’t recall ever being taught anything like that.”

That’s because most of what we took in as kids came, not by conscious intent, but rather from unconscious example.”

So you’re saying I made assumptions about what I heard and then made a judgment based on my own inner dialog and not on the real, external evidence.”

Yes, precisely, and most of us, myself included, do that all day long about almost everything.   With the overload of information that constantly bombards us, we really have little choice.”

Okay, now that I have this new information about my thinking process, what do I do with it?”

I’m suggesting that when you have a strong emotional reaction about something, look more closely at how you came to the conclusions that triggered your emotions.”

I ask, “Did I express an emotional reaction in the statement that started this whole discussion about assumptions?”

You’re the only one who can answer that question; however, I certainly got that impression.”   She repeats back to me my original statement:

    "A moment ato you said, 'I still don’t understand how God, or the Divine Source, as you call it, can be involved in sex parties.   I know you’re not kidding, so how can defend such a position'?"

Yes, I said that and now that you bring it to my attention, there was an emotional content in my statement.”   I smile, think of my dad, and then say, “I was even speaking words that I might have heard my father say.”

Good noticing, Stoney.   Are you ready for the third assumption?”

As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say. 



Is Sex Good or Bad?

The third assumption is that sex is too evil and too sinful to be associated with God.   This is the exact opposite pole of your first assumption that God is too good to be involved in sex.   Your statement contains the assumption that there’s something inherently wrong with sex. 9-2   

    Since every single one of us has been created by God by way of a sex act and since each of us has an instinctive, sexual nature that all but compels us to be sexual, believing that sex is bad, evil or sinful is a rather ridiculous belief to hold.” 9-3

Jazbell continues,  “Stoney, what do you know that’s more heavenly and more blissful than being in orgasmic consciousness?”

Nothing,” I say.

Is there anything wrong or evil about our sexual body parts?”

Not that I know of.”

So why hide them?   Why are people ashamed of their genitals?”

I thought of my childhood, and responded with, “Because of the cultural conditioning and programming we got as children.”

Jazbell continues, “There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex.   Problems arise out of the distorted perceptions of sex and out of the misuse of and/or the manipulation the sexual energies for non-sexual purposes.”

We both sit quietly for a while, then I break the silence by saying, “So, Jazz, what was my fourth assumption?”

Your question ‘how can I defend such a position?’ assumes I have a position to defend, and that I need to defend it.    Since I am neither peddling anything nor attempting to convert anyone, I have no position to defend, no need to defend it, and no adversaries to defend it from.   Have you heard the statement,  The truth needs no defense.  The truth is its own defense."  

"Yes, I have." 

"Were I not your coach, and had you not given me prior permission to call you on your illusions, I would have said nothing to you in response to your statement.   In fact, your original statement would never have been made because you would not even have known that that there was any such thing as a CLI Circle.“ 9-4  

I say,  “I’m amazed you were able to bring so much clarity out of just one simple statement.    Is there anything else?”

Another factor you might want to consider is that orgasm does not even need to be sexual.”  

Orgasm without sex?   Jazz, you keep pushing the limits of my understanding.   You’re going to need to explain that one to me.”  

As your coach, that’s one of my tasks.   Are you okay with my doing so?”  


Then on to sexless orgasms.   Is there any difference between orgasmic consciousness and what the Eastern yogis call Samhadi or Nirvana?”  

I don’t know.”  

Well, I do.   They’re simply variations on a theme.   Both are ecstatic states of mind.   Both connect the human consciousness with the Divine.  

I ask, “How do you know that?”  

Because I’ve talked to several Spiritual Masters about this issue.   But don’t believe me.   The next opportunity you have to talk with a yogi master, ask him yourself.”  

I’ll take your word for it.” 

Please don’t!   Don’t believe anything I tell you, and in particular, don’t believe anything I tell you about your own personal life.

    Ask the advice of the teachers and mentors in whatever field you choose to master, and then experience the goals for yourself.   That way you’ll know by experience rather than buying someone else’s beliefs.

    But there’s a twist in what I just said, and that twist catches most people.   They miss the mark and lose their way by getting things backwards.”

What do you mean.” I ask.

I mean that what humans experience is a product of their beliefs.   Most people experience something and then believe that reality is the way they’ve just experienced it, but the Universe actually works in the reverse of that.   Belief comes before experience.”

Are you telling me that if I believe something and expect it to be a certain way, it’s that way for me?”

Yes, but don’t expect the Earth to be flat because you believe it is.   I’m talking about personal beliefs, not humanity’s collective beliefs.”

Then give me a personal example, please.”

Ok.   Before you’ll be able to achieve multiple orgasms, you’ll have to believe it’s possible for you to do so.   Right now, your experience tells you you can’t, and so you can’t.   It’s possible to change your experience, but, first, you’ll have to change your beliefs.   You’ll need to change your attitudes and expectations, your thoughts and words, and then the actions taken in the new contexts will produce new results.”

Hmm,” I say.   “I’d like some time to mull over that idea.   Are we finished with the assumptions?”   

Yes,” she replies.

Then, I have another question.   Regarding a week from Sunday, is our sharing on that day to be in the context of a spiritual experience?”  

Certainly.   Have I not told you the Second Principle of the CLI Circles?”  

Not in so many words.”  



Sacred Journey    Sacred Journey   

Okay then, here it is in just so many words.   The second CLIC intention is to elevate sensual and sexual sharing to its rightful status as a spiritual experience — a sacred journey — an active, energetic prayer.”   

I say, “That ought to make it even more interesting. . .”  

And more joyous, too,” she says.  

I ask, “So just to be sure I am clear on this, are you saying that sexual sharing is an active, energetic prayer because you hold sexual sharing in its spiritual context, because you intentionally invite the participation of the Divine, and because you believe that orgasm is the Divine Ecstasy expressing itself in a physical body?”

Yes,” she says.   “That’s accurate.   In the CLI Circle gatherings, we focus on Care, Love, and Intimacy; we share the most universal human pleasure, sensuality; and we usually carry that sensuality to the ultimate level of human joy, orgasm.   I have a description written by one of our most devoted CLI Circle members about her personal sexual/spiritual experiences.   I’ll share it with you, if you’re interested.”

By all means,” I say.  

Then I’ll get it and be back in a minute.”   Jazbell gets up, goes into the room which serves as her home office and in less than a minute returns with a notebook.   She sits and starts leafing through numerous pages of carefully handwritten notes interspersed among computer-printed pages.  

Ah, here it is,” she says..   “Christina calls this Floating in the Cosmic Ocean.”   She starts reading:  

Because we have been practicing the intimate love arts for many years, the old programming which used to direct our bodies to spasm and for Charlie to eject semen, has long since faded into oblivion.  

As we slide into sexual ecstasy, our movements slow to almost perfect stillness, and a natural, calm, state of allowing fills our physically relaxed bodies.   We feel our conscious selves flow smoothly into each other, and then on into the orgasmic ocean of the Infinite I AM.  

Together, as one unified being, we float forever in this bliss-filled, timeless eternity.   We float in infinite circles through the ecstasy of experiencing The Divine Essence.   By Earth time, we drift around God’s Heaven for several minutes, and then, slowly, we slide back into our physical bodies.  

Back in our physical bodies, we remain motionless for what seems like forever, while we hold in our minds  (and in every cell of our bodies) the remnants of our transcendent experiences.   Then, with minor body movements, we again stimulate our sexual selves into another orgasmic swirl, and the flow into infinity begins all over again.    

I say, “That sounds like the ultimate of both a sexual and a spiritual experience combined into one.“  

It is!”  

Do you know that by personal experience?”  


I’m impressed.” 

You needn’t be.   You can do it, too.”  

With a raised level of excitement, I respond with, “I can?” and then ask, “What else can you tell me about the CLICs?” 

Most CLICs are very small, often consisting of only two people.   These are usually quite informal.   There are, however, several, larger and highly organized CLICs that have evolved with their own specialties.”  

Like what?”  

The two most popular themes are the strip shows and sex theater.   Sexual discussions and mutual support groups are also very popular.”  

What is the most unique CLIC that you are aware of?” 

An overweight Club, started by two women.   They offered to masturbate a slender male friend if he would strip for them.   They soon brought in a third female.   The last I knew, the group had grown to seven women and four men, all overweight except for the original male.   The CLICs are also popular in the gay and lesbian community. 

    In all the CLICs, admittance is by invitation only.   In the larger groups, people are sponsored by present members and are carefully screened prior to being invited.   A private trial session is undertaken by the sponsoring member and one or two other members.   A recommendation is then made to the larger group.   Acceptance into a full CLIC is only by unanimous approval of all the present participants.”  

Sounds like a pretty elitist club.”  

Some of them are.”   

I ask, “What if a dead-head manages to get in?  

The pre-screening process usually eliminates those who are not compatible with CLIC goals and ideals.   The first session with the full group is an additional trial session.   If someone gets past the initial screening and is later found to be offensive to existing members, he or she is asked to leave or, more often, simply not invited back.   Do you have any more questions?”  

Not at the moment.”

End of Chapter Eleven  --  More CLI-Connection Principles





Take me to Book One -- Chapter Twelve  

Sex, Bliss, and Divine Consciousness



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Footnotes and References

 9-1     9-1   The four basic agreements are: 

1)   Everything said or done remains in strict confidentiality;  

2)   All interactions are engaged in by free-will choice and with mutual
         consent of all concerned; 

3)   Each person is responsible for keeping his/her body fluids
        completely to him/her self; and

4)   Behavior parameters and restrictions for each session are
        acknowledged, pre-agreed upon and then strictly adhered to.

9-2   9-2    This is the obsolete mentality that produced the unworkable and unrealistic laws regarding censorship and sexual conduct that still haunt the law books in most states.   Graphically depicting or describing blood-splattering, body mutilations, axe murderers, chainsaw massacres, bombings and other forms of mass murder are all perfectly legal in every state in the United States, and the peddlers of these types of books and films are rewarded with millions of dollars in profits.   At the same time, and in most states, depicting or describing sexual activity is considered a serious crime, punishable by fine, imprisonment, or both.  

In spite of the fact that, with rare exception, every single person on the entire planet desires and needs sexual gratification, selling sexual gratification is a crime.   At the same time,  it’s perfectly legal to sell alcohol and tobacco, which, together, kill over 500,000 people per year.  

As has been said before, depictions and descriptions of rape and sexual violence are OK, but there are countless laws that make criminals of those who create or distribute depictions of two people making love.   Depictions and descriptions of war, mass murder, embezzlement, fraud, kidnapping, robbery, and senseless violence are all OK, but depictions of two people making love are against the law.   Do you think there just might be something slightly dysfunctional in this attitude?  

9-3   9-3   By current legal standards, if every person who ever committed a sexually related crime was in jail, there would be nobody outside to guard the gate.  

9-4   9-4   Soon after I realized that I was to write the book you are now reading, three additional issues came to mind that are related to the topics you just read about,  1) offering information versus forcing one’s views onto others,  2) dealing with lies, deceptions and hidden agendas,  and 3)  responding to the one-way/my-way critics.   Since they are not directly related to mastering the CLI Circle arts, I have included them as endnotes rather than in the text.   See:  Endnote #6 at the back of book Two.