yd22 // Sensual Delights Network // Yoni Dance Book Trilogy // Book one // The Dream Catcher's Dream
Chapter Ten // CLIC Connection Principles yd22 yd22 gr gr 29 Apr 20131
How to enhance your
Sensual Delights and bring more pleasure and
joy into your life
through physical touch. Touch may be purely sensual, sexually-sensual, or outright orgasmic.
The Ultimate "how to"
The Dream Catcher's Dream
. . . Once You Begin, There's NO Turning Back . . .
"Are you saying you want to jump right into the practices and not just bring your normal, usual self into a CLIC experience?”
I respond, “That I am!”
“OK. But before we get into any details or practices, you need to be fully informed about what you’re venturing into, and you need to know that if you say yes to my coaching offer, your life can no longer be business-as-usual. As a matter of fact, your life will never be the same again. You will learn things that you can’t unlearn. You can stop this practice at any time you choose, but you will never be able to return to the life you are living now.”
“What are you talking about? How can that be?”
“The practices I will teach you will open your life to visions that you did not know existed before. Your top four chakras, although more open than most, are still mostly closed to your conscious awareness. When you open these energy centers, it’s like opening yourself up to a completely different world.”
I ask, “Can you give me an example?”
“I’ll start with a couple of global examples. When Galileo announced to the world that the Earth was round and circled the sun, that new awareness changed the course of human history. When Louis Pasteur announced that sickness and disease were caused by organisms so small they were invisible, aside from his being ridiculed and thrown out of the medical college, that statement of awareness changed the course of medicine forever.
We cannot go back to living on a flat Earth and we can no longer ignore microorganisms as causes of disease. The world is full of similar, profound turning points. The same is true on a much smaller scale in each of our personal lives.”
I ask, “Can you give me a personal example from your own life?”
"Certainly. When I was eleven, Intendr introduced me to the fact that, within the context of human life on planet Earth, we each create our own personal reality by our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, emotions, words and actions. Once I realized that he was correct, I had to accept full responsibility for everything I experienced. Things no longer happened to me. I could no longer blame my mother, my teachers, or Henry.
"So you are saying that that age eleven, you shifted your life from victim consciousness to accepting responsibility for your self-created experiences.
And on the joyous end of that awareness, I also realized that I had the capacity to re-create my life any way I chose it to be. That new awareness changed my life so profoundly that I cannot even imagine what I would have become without my awareness of that one, small piece of reality. It opened my life up to possibilities that I had never even heard of before.”
"So now I'm facing another one of life's seemingly simple, but actually profound, choice points."
"I can simply participate in the CLICs as my usual self, and everything will be reasonably close to normal, but if I commit myself to learning and practicing the CLIC arts and the other things you'll teach me, my life will profoundly change?”
She replies, “That is exactly what I’m saying. Your cherished illusions will come knocking at your door asking to be closely re-examined. You’ll no longer be able to be religious on Saturday or Sunday and then be an egocentric-atheist on Monday morning in your business dealings. You will be required to accept complete responsibility for your own life. When you look out into the world, you will see only reflections of yourself, and thus, someone else’s skin color, ethnic origin, gender, religious preferences, and sexual behavior will become all but meaningless to you.
A multitude of your past personal beliefs and prejudices will become obsolete. And most profoundly, you’ll see life on Earth from and entirely different vantage point. Beliefs you previously accepted as reality, will be seen as only beliefs about reality. You will open yourself up to new information, and that new information will profoundly alter your life.”
“Jazbell, you’ve got to be kidding. When you first talked about this, I thought we were talking about sharing orgasms in each other’s presence. This is beginning to sound pretty heavy.”
Jazbell responds with, “Stoney, I assure you, I’m not kidding. I’m being very forthright with you because you’d better begin this process with your eyes wide open and realize that when you step onto the path to self-awareness, there is no turning back. I also want you to realize you don’t need to get involved in anything beyond sharing sexual pleasures. If you choose to confine our interrelating to sharing on the sexual level only, that’s perfectly OK, too.”
“No, I’ll go for the complete package.”
“Then let me take you one step further just to be sure that you understand the implications of the choice you’ve just made.”
“OK, I’m listening.”
“Sooner or later, you’ll come face to face with your own physical mortality. And when that life-threatening challenge comes, you’ll be faced with a profound uncertainty that can be transcended only by the same leap of faith that every human being, sooner or later, has to take, regardless of his or her religious beliefs.
I’m about to introduce you to a path of Divine Truth, and, if you accept my offer, your years of walking on this path will help you when that ultimate challenge arrives. On the day it does, you’ll look around you and realize that worldly goods provide little or no comfort. You’ll look to those you love and realize that the only thing each of us has in this world is ourselves, our faith in whatever it is we call Creator/God, and each other. You’ll turn to, and for a few moments, will hold those you love in your arms and then, in fear or in determination, you’ll step out and face your mortality in whatever form that challenge may come. Knowing that you may or may not return from your challenge, the question in your mind will be, ‘If I don’t return, then what’?”
“So what you are saying is that I’m being invited to step into the realm of profound personal transformations and not simply into a few minutes of sexual gratification.” 8-1
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m offering. We can, however, if you so choose, forget about personal transformation and confine our sharing to simple, mutual self-pleasuring. Stoney, as you well know, almost anybody can have an orgasm. What I’m offering is to show you how to transform sex into a transcendent, life-changing, spiritual experience.”
Distinguishing Spirituality from Religion:
I say, “You’re combining sex and religion. I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”
“You don’t believe what you’re hearing because what you think you’re hearing is not the message I’m sending. Did I say anything about religion?”
“You said transforming sex into a spiritual experience.” The moment I said the word spiritual, I knew exactly what Jazbell meant. The Book I wrote last year titled, An Interview with The Devil, flashed into my mind, and I was instantly in harmony with her. Just thinking about that interview took my mind into another dimension. Jazbell’s voice brought me back to Earth.
“Let me make the distinction for you between religion and spirituality.”
"I think I've got it, but continue, anyway. I’ll be interested in hearing it from your perspective.”
“OK," she says. "Religion refers to any of the numerous sets of particular organized beliefs and practices that focus around worship to a deity. The beliefs in any of these religious systems is based upon what is referred to as ‘A Leap of Faith’ and it's also based on denying of the validity of all the other religions.”
“You mean like Christians, Jews, Hindus, and Moslems?”
“Yes, and the other religions as well. In this country, we see mostly Catholics, Jews, Mormons, the fundamentalist Christians, and the multiple varieties of other Protestant religions. If you look at the whole concept of religion, you’ll find it’s rampant with confusion and conflict because each religious system claims exclusive access to the truth. Most wars and major social conflicts, from the Crusades right up to modern times, have been based primarily on conflicting religious beliefs."
“Yeah, that’s the mentality which says, ‘Let’s go out and kill a Commie for Christ’.”
“Stoney, I like your vitality and your sense of humor.”
“Why, thank you. May I hear about spirituality now?”
“Did you think for a moment you wouldn’t?”
Jazbell continues, “Religion is a social/group experience that focuses on and worships and external deity. Religion is often very rigid. It's often one-way/my-way. It's beliefs must be accepted by faith. Logic and reason are not welcome. Religious fundamentalism and religious fanaticism has inspired vast numbers of people to think of anything religious and anything spiritual as a fantasy of the foolish.
Contrast, spirituality is an experiential
phenomenon. It's internal and completely
personal. Spirituality is a process
where we quiet the mind, go inside our own being,
and then direct that invisible part of ourselves to
guide our lives on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment
basis. It’s a process of being a
conscious partner of the God-Self within --
a God- Self that is known, not on faith,
but rather, by experience.”
The best description of this that I am presently aware of can be found by reading the one page article by Marty Kaplan in the June 24, 1996 issue of Time Magazine (pg. 62) titled, “Ambushed by Spirituality.”
I say to her, “God by experience? Not by faith? That idea is a greater threat to organized religion than the devil himself. If everyone believed that God was inside of themselve, churches would be out of business.”
Jazbell responds with, “Far from it. Churches would do a thriving business. They would be much more prosperous and thus, be able to be much more helpful than they are today. You would, however, have far fewer egocentric bigots peddling illusion for the purpose of fill their purses and inflate their egos.”
I ask, “Is that the real underlying reason why the anti-abortion peddlers call spirituality the work of the devil?”
“That’s how I see it.”
“That devil! He gets so much credit that he doesn’t deserve.”
Jazbell just laughs and continues. “When you master the practices I’ll teach you and apply the resultant guidance to your life, your actions will be based on love, on shared joy, on harmony with Sacred Mother Earth, on mutual respect for everyone else’s person and property, and on freedom for everyone. Allowing others to be who and what they are will become a way of life. Outside behavioral authorities, including churches and police-enforcement, will become completely unnecessary and all but irrelevant to you.”
I say, “I think I know why, but I’d still like to hear your take on why this is so.”
“Because each time I sit quietly and really go into the void that transcends what we call time and space, I attain a greater identity with the invisible consciousness that animates the universe. Metaphorically speaking, each time I go into the void, I come face to face with the same God that Jesus, Mohammed, Moses and Buddha also faced.
“Harmony out of chaos,” I say.
“And it’s so simple,” she says. “The problem, over the centuries, has been that those who proclaimed themselves to be in control have attempted to deny everyone else the right to personally and directly access God, or what some now call the God-Self Within. In the days when the Catholic church ruled Europe, people who had access to the invisible world and those who were even suspected of having this forbidden, divine access were ostracized, condemned, burned at the stake, banished, or otherwise disposed of.”
I ask, “Why did they do that?"
“Because those who could connect to the higher source were a threat to the status quo. Because visionaries could (and still can) can see through the establishment's illusions. Because they were likely to speak truths that were not welcomed by the controllers of the status quo. A true visionary functions outside the established order and is easily be able see the fraud that is being peddled as truth by the establishment.
Even though it's clearly written in the Christian Bible, when someone publicly says that they are God beings, he or she gets weird looks and sideways glances, as if the person speaking were an escapee from a loony bin. Because such talk is so far away from currently accepted beliefs, it shocks many people.
When I say that anybody can come face to face with the same God that Jesus, Mohammed, Moses and Buddha faced, I mean anybody. This is not an exclusive club.”
“So why don’t they contact their inner God-Self?”
“They all do — all day long — every day. Our feelings (our emotions) are direct communication back to us from the God-Self Within. It’s just that most people don’t know that their feelings are communication from their Higher Self, and they also have no idea how to use those feelings or how to expand that communication to something much grander than simply feelings. And worse yet, most people don’t even realize that they have an Inner Self from which they can get communication.”
“You’re kidding. Feelings are communication from God? It can’t be that simple.”
“That’s exactly what you’ve been programmed to think. Remember, the Universe is a huge copy machine which gives us a physical manifestation of our dominant thoughts, attitudes, and feelings. If you believe that it can’t be that simple, then, for you, it can’t be that simple. For those of us who believe it’s that simple, it’s that simple.
Your feelings are your feedback from the God-Self within. You feel good (fahzum) when you're focused on what you choose to be, do, have, express, or experience in your life and you feel bad (kohld-priki) when you’re focused on things you don't want in your life. I share this idea with you in much more detail later. 8-4
As a society most of us bought the party line which says we’re not to trust ourselves and we’re not to trust our own feelings. Instead, we have been programmed to be sheep, to do what everyone else does, and to rely on the external authority figures to tell us how to live our lives.
People, particularly men, are still being programmed to deny and disbelieve their feelings, and all of us have been bombarded with countless condemnations and put downs.
As a young child, how many times did you hear, ‘no,’ ‘you’re bad,’ ‘don’t touch,’ or some other similar inhibitors? Obviously, “no” was sometimes spoken for safety reasons or in other necessary learning situations, but more often than not, it was simply for adult convenience. Most of us took the heavy bombardment of excessive negativity to mean that we were inadequate and inferior — that our capacity to make decisions was flawed. Those beliefs are still alive and powerful in our adult, psychological makeup, and they still cause most of us, even today, to discount our ability to make any practical use of our own inner wisdom.
Because of the limitations and the almost constant negativity we receive from the outside world, very few of us manage to hold our vision and nurture the personal connection to our inner selves. Those who survive the onslaught are the visionaries, the artists, the musicians, the poets, the inventors, the scientific explorers. I count my blessings and am truly grateful to be one of them.”
“Jazbell, I’ll bet you’d like to read the story I wrote last year regarding my Interview with The Devi," himself.”
“I’ve already read it."
Again I’m pleased and surprised by Jazbell. I’m also curious as to why she has read my story, but my curiosity is overpowered by the topic at hand; so I promise myself to ask her later how she came to read my article. I continue with our present conversation. “Okay. The idea of transforming sex into a spiritual experience sounds great to me, but I must admit that I really don’t know how to do that."
“You may have heard the old saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
Jazbell lifts her shoulders, holds her hands out to me with her palms up, smiles at me and says, “Well?”
My level of excitement takes another leap upward. I smile back and say, “Oh, Master Guru, I humble myself at your feet.”
“So you’re willing to accept my offer and all that comes with it?”
I say, “Yes, I am.”
“Are you sure?”
“Good! And with that,” she says, “I need a break. Would you like some ice-cream?”
“Ice cream and a beautiful woman; one of my favorite combinations.”
Jazbell motions me toward the kitchen. I mimic her gesture and say, “Lead the way, my lady.”
The kitchen is bright, clean and spacious. It radiates a very homey feeling. Jazbell stops before the freezer door and asks, “What flavor do you like?”
“Whatever you have will be fine. Almost any flavor is delicious, except strawberry. I hate strawberry.”
“Is there a particular reason why you hate strawberry?”
“Yes, my mom made me eat a whole half gallon of strawberry ice cream when I was seven.”
Jazbell laughs and asks, “How did you get into trouble with strawberry ice cream?”
“I’ll be glad to share that with you. Do you want to hear it now or at another time?”
“Why, now, of course. Tell me while we eat our ice cream. Since strawberry’s out, how about chocolate?”
“Cone or dish?”
“Cone,” I say. “Then we can walk out under the trees.”
Jazbell opens her cupboard and takes out a box of ice cream cones and one very large glass. She fills the glass with fresh water and says to me, “Please drink this while I get the ice cream.”
I take the glass and ask, “You want me to drink all of this now?”
What’s this for?”
“It’s part of your first lesson at being a good student. Remember, I said you would be asked to do things that don’t make any sense to the intellect. Well, let this be your first lesson in trust. Drink it now, and I’ll explain it later.”
“Do you want part of this? Are you having any water?”
“No, it’s entirely for you.” She extracts the ice cream from the freezer, fills two cones with chocolate ice cream, returns the container to the freezer, turns to me and says, “Drink up, oh Master Student, so we can go out and walk in the dark.”
With some effort, I manage to empty the remaining water and place the empty glass on the counter. Jazbell hands me one of the cones and motions to me to exit by the kitchen door. We walk out into the yard, around to the front of the house, and then along the street. The neighborhood is beautiful. We walk along a tree-lined street with well-kept homes and manicured yards. I stroll slowly with Jazbell at my side.
I’m enjoying the company, the ice cream and the setting. I wonder about the water, but say nothing. I’m also curious about the transformational void I just agreed to step into. Whatever is there has obviously treated Jazbell extremely well, so I feel both confident and excited.
Strawberry Ice Cream
“Okay, Stoney, I’m ready for the strawberry story."
The strawberry memory instantly fills me with a chill. I take a deep breath and shake my body slightly. I look to see if Jazbell noticed my reaction. She didn’t. I begin, “When I was seven, my cousin Billy and I each stole a half gallon of strawberry ice cream from Snider’s General Store.”
“You both stole the same kind?”
“Yeah, that was another dumb part of that experience.”
“Okay, what happened?”
“My mom caught us and forced me to eat the whole half gallon. I got sick and threw up. She made me clean the putrid, pink vomit and then eat the rest of the ice cream. She then took me to Mr. Snider. I had to tell him what I had done and then pay for the ice cream out of money I had been saving to buy a new football. I was totally devastated. That incident began and ended my career as a criminal.”
“A lesson well learned. If you like, some time, we can desensitize you from your aversion to strawberry ice cream.”
I say, “I don’t believe it’s possible, but if it were, I’d like that.”
“Well,” she says, “When you stop believing that it’s impossible, we can get into that. Remind me sometime to tell you about how all humans, myself included, are almost totally controlled by instinct and conditioning. We think we are free, but thousands of instinctive internal programs and thousands mental conditionings from our environment, like your ice cream incident, actually control the vast majority of our lives.
For example, you’re not free to like strawberry ice cream? Even though millions of other people love strawberry ice cream, your life, regarding strawberry ice cream is completely controlled by the memory of a highly emotional, childhood incident. A moment ago, when I asked you to share that story, your body language and your breathing pattern shifted dramatically. That alone tells me you’re tied to and controlled by a memory.”
“You saw how I reacted? I thought you hadn’t noticed.”
“Stoney, you’re pretty good at hiding your feelings. If I hadn’t been intentionally watching for your reaction, I would have missed it.”
We walk in silence for the next few minutes as I contemplate what she has just told me. I wonder what else controls my life, but I decide to hold further questions for another time. Almost before I realize it, we’ve circled the block and are back in front of Jazbell’s home. We make our way to the living room and sit down.
Jazz returns our focus to the CLI Circles. She begins, “An understanding of sex as a spiritual experience will grow out of sharing sensuality and sexuality in that context, so let’s shift our focus to the first of what have become the five, basic philosophical principles of the most successful CLI Circles.”
“I think I missed the spiritual experience part, but go ahead anyway.”
“That’s because spiritual experiences transcend the intellect. They are not translatable into words. To attempt to describe a transcendent experience is like trying to describe to a virgin what sexual intercourse feels like.“
The First CLIC Principle
I say, “Then on to the first principle please, but before we get into details, I have a question of language that has me a bit confused. Sometimes you say CLI Connections and sometimes you say CLI Circles. What's the Difference?”
Jazz responds, "When two people privately share CLIC-style intimacy, that's a Caring and Loving Intimacy Connection. When these personal connections are expanded to include additional people we call that a Caring and Loving Intimacy Circle."
"OK, now I'm ready for the details."
"The first CLIC intention is to create safe havens for the intimate sharing of emotional and physical vulnerability; to create safe havens for sharing the conscious, intimate touching of self and others.8-5
Feeling safe is absolutely essential for the kind of sharing that usually takes place in a CLI Circle. Pre-agreed-upon, mutual consent is paramount to every sharing. At the beginning of every CLI Circle gathering, each participant clearly states his or her intentions to the other person or to the other people present.”
“Are you saying that a CLI Circle can consist of only two people?”
“Of course! I would guess that the vast majority of those who follow the CLI Circle guidelines are sharing their intimacy with only one other person. As you’ll soon see, CLIC guidelines offer a great base for developing any type of close and meaningful relationship.
A CLI Circle is a context for consciously creating, interpersonal relationships — relationships based upon pre-agreed-upon, mutually beneficial guidelines. The content within that context can be anything the couple or group chooses. The resulting CLI Circle may or may not be sexual. It may not even be sensual.
“Are you saying the CLIC guidelines are like a basic house which provides floors, walls and roof, and what the participants do within that context is the content, like bringing in furniture and decorating the house?”
“And the participants get to do whatever they want within the guidelines just like the residence do whatever they want within that house.”
“Yup. Thank you, Stoney. That’s an excellent analogy.”
“OK, I’ve got it. When I interrupted you, you were saying that at the beginning of every CLI Circle gathering, each participant clearly states his or her intentions. Then what?”
Then everyone is required to stick by those intentions for the remainder of the session. Pre-sharing agreements cannot be changed while an CLIC session is in process.”
“Why is that?”
“Because most men lead with their cocks. That is, when men are sexually aroused, reason often goes completely out the window. The CLICs are set up to prevent little heads from running big heads. Everyone knows up front that pressuring someone to change his or her agreement will do no good. Those who violate their own agreements or pressure others to violate their agreements are asked to leave and/or are simply excluded from future CLICs. The CLI Circles are such joyful experiences that everyone wants to be invited back and, obviously, no one wants to get thrown out.
As part of that safe space, everyone agrees that what goes on and what is said in an CLIC session remains inside the CLIC. Frequently, CLI Circles turn into intimate discussion groups where participants coach each other on sexual issues and on how to deal with their intimate relations that go on outside of the CLI Circles.
Two other crucial aspects of creating a safe space are participation by free will choice and maintaining the integrity of our own and each other’s separate body fluids. I’ll share more with you about the integrity of body fluids on Sunday. ”
“What about the other four principles?”
“Metaphorically speaking, how do you eat an elephant?”
“I don’t know, and I think I’m about to find out.”
“Right you are. One bite at a time! The philosophies, the principles, and the techniques that are shared within the most successful CLICs are bigger than a dozen elephants.
“OK. One bite at a time.”
We were both quiet for a moment. I just sit with this new concept.
I ask, “Are you supporting another sexual revolution like we had in the 60’s?”
“Certainly not. Hippie sex in the 60’s was done in the context of a revolution. It was an open protest against the sexual hypocrisy and the rigid conformity that was demanded by the older generation. In the face of stifling restrictions on personal freedom, the 60’s generation openly flaunted its contempt by ignoring the rules. Hairstyles, clothing, sexual openness, marijuana, and LSD were all flaunted in the face of the establishment. Although many were just being who they were, the predominating energy of the times was that of rebellion, and a rebellion is certainly not freedom.”
“What do you mean?”
“A rebellion is intimately tied to that from which it is rebelling. It is a reaction that is controlled by the thing that is being rebelled against. In the 60’s, many people got stuck on the opposite pole from what they were rebelling against. They were free not to take a bath, but some were not free to take a bath.
For some, sex in the 60’s was a joy ride, but for many others, it had drastic, negative results. It also left a lot of single women with children they were totally unprepared to deal with. Life was often played as a win/lose, zero-sum game.”
“What do you mean by a zero-sum game?”
“In order for someone to win, someone else must lose.” The stock market is considered by many to be a zero-sum game.”
“Here’s a better example. Playing the lottery or gambling at a Las Vegas Casino are very clear examples of zero-sum games.”
“Jazz, aren’t the CLI Circle members rebelling against socialized, sexual rigidity?”
“They are indeed living the antithesis of sexual rigidity; however, I can assure you that the groups are positively oriented and are not acting in the context of rebellion. I say this by first-hand experience because I have experienced hundreds of CLI Circle gatherings.
CLICs are created when two or more people get together under intentionally created and pre-agreed-upon conditions to share with each other the joys of emotional and physical intimacy. By conscious intent, CLI Circle members create open-minded, loving environments that are completely private, profoundly intimate, and totally safe for everyone involved. These people are fortunate because they’ve found or have created places where it’s safe to be who they choose to be — places where they can set aside the normal fears of interpersonal relating that plague most of the rest of humanity. The context is one of joyful creation. All activities within the circle are inner directed and are a matter of free will choice of the people involved.
Outside rules of behavior are left outside. All activities are done in complete privacy, and knowledge of what occurs in a CLI circle stays within that circle. Privacy is the only aspect of a CLI Connection that is directed by external forces. Does that sound to you like rebellion?"
Jazbell continues, "Bringing beauty, joy and pleasure to yourself and to your friends is not rebelling against the anti-sexual peddlers of mindless conformity; unless, of course, you choose to label as a rebel anyone who does not support passionless servitude to the status quo.
Stoney, you need to remember that CLI Circles are completely private affairs. Except to a Circle’s present members, its existence is not even known. Even you, a writer of human interest stories, knew nothing about the CLI Circles until just a few minutes ago.”
“Well, Jazz, I can see that you certainly have passion on this issue. Are you a rebel?”
Jazbell laughs and replies, “At times, I am indeed one hell of a rebel; however, when I’m in a CLI Circle, rebelling is the last thing on my mind.”
“So when does your rebel surface?”
“When my freedoms are challenged by those who think they know better than I do about how I should live my life; when I face those who force pregnant children to become mothers of unwanted children; when I face those who believe that killing babies is OK as long as you nurture that baby until it’s eighteen years old before you send it off to die in a war; when I face those who force third world women to become mothers of unwanted children who will die of starvation within their first year; when I face those who are peddling the anti-abortion fairytale.” 9-6
I still honor these people’s right to preach about their passions and their beliefs. I do, however, challenge their right to force me or anyone else to practice their beliefs.
“Wow! You certainly are a rebel.”
“Yes, I do speak and walk my own truth regardless of what others think, say, or do, and I tend to speak up for myself more that most.
Stoney, we are getting way off track here. Let’s get back to the CLI Circles.”
“Good plan. Please tell me more about them.”
Living in a new Context.
“The CLIC members practice a wholesome way of looking at intimacy, love, and sexuality. What the CLI Circle members are living is an evolution of consciousness regarding sensuality and sexuality. Although many of us who participate in CLI Circles are passionate crusaders for one cause or another, the CLI Circles themselves have no cause, no movement, no crusade, and no rebellion. We do not force our ways onto anyone. Everyone else’s right to speak and practice his or her own beliefs is completely honored and respected.
We are simply living in a new context regarding intimacy and sensuality. Mutual touching and sensuality are vital aspects of human life. Sexual sharing is simply the logical and joyous extension of sensuality.
To create a CLI Circle, all it takes is for two or more individuals to consciously, intentionally, and openly agree among themselves beforehand how they will relate to each other on an intimate, sharing level. Although they usually are, the CLI Circle need not be sexual in any way. And the agreements can easily be changed later by mutual consent of all involved. What people agree upon and what they share together is completely up to them. No one else has any need to even know such an agreement exists.”
“Don’t millions of couples do that already?”
“Not really. In most intimate relationships, the physical intimacy comes before the creation of any conscious, intentional, and openly stated agreements. Often there are no agreements at all.
Women are frequently pressured or seduced into sex by domineering males who have only their own interests in mind. Women, in striving for families, security, and to fill cultural expectations, often pressure men into making commitments they are not ready for and that they’re not qualified to keep. The CLI Circles offer a way to avoid both of those problems.”
“How is that?”
“The CLI Circles offer acceptable settings within which people can openly discuss issues that, in other settings, they would simply shy away from. The CLICs offer a set of guidelines and often some masterful role models for intimate, inter-human communication. Some of the CLICs host discussion groups that meet in non-sexual settings to focus on the spiritual and philosophical purposes of relationships. Everything we share in a CLI Circle is held as mutually agreed upon co-creation in which love, in the sense of care and concern for each other’s well being, is a prime energy.”
I say, “Love yourself and others with equal sincerity. That sounds similar to what the religious preachers say.”
“It is, and there is also a vast difference.”
“In the CLICs, nobody attempts to convert, convince or coerce anyone to accept or to follow any particular way. There are no external demands or rules of any kind. What people do outside the CLI Circles is their own business.”
“What about all the CLIC guidelines? Aren’t those externally imposed rules?”
“No, because nobody forces you to participate in an CLIC. By way of the guidelines, others express to you the ways in which they are willing to interrelate with you and then invite you to share a personal experience with them. You are free to relate by mutual agreement or not relate at all. When you choose to relate with others in a CLI Circle, the guidelines you have mutually agreed upon become an expression of your internal, free will choice.
“That sounds rather unusual.”
Jazbell responds, “It’s unusual only in that the rules for interrelating in a CLI Circle are openly and intentionally discussed and mutually agreed upon at the beginning of the shared experience, but otherwise, it’s normal relating by mutual agreement.”
“Yes, we do this type of mutual, free will sharing all the time as a part of normal everyday life. It’s just that we usually relate semi-consciously and do so according to the socially accepted rules that we learned years ago. We usually don’t think about them, but every time we relate to anyone, we are following a set of guidelines, rules, or laws.”
“Can you offer some examples?”
Of course. When we go into a restaurant, they agree to provide us with a meal and we agree to pay them money. When we play a sport such as baseball, we all freely agree to follow certain rules. When we drive a car, we agree to follow certain rules for safety. These and countless other human interactions are all carried out according to pre-agreed-upon rules. We are each free to accept the rules of the relationship or to not relate at all.
The same is true in personal relationships. When intimately relating to someone else, the CLI Connection guidelines become a pre-agreed-upon, conscious and intentional expression of each partner’s free will choice.”
“Now that you’ve pointed it out to me, it obvious.”
“Stoney, there are dozens of things in life like that — things that are so common we simply don’t see them. Our brains are ‘hardwired’ to ignore subtle differences and to only see major distinctions. One of the benefits of the CLI Connection practices is that you’ll learn to relate to life by conscious intention. You’ll no longer simply function on instincts and be at the effect of your environment.”
“Good! I’d like that.”
“CLICs also support and encourage the concept of individual, free-will choice, and, by example, they teach participants how to love themselves and to love others with equal sincerity.
The CLICs also blow away the male, goal-oriented game of seduction, conquest, and scoring. Get it up, get it in, and get it off has no place in a CLI Circle.”
I say, “I’ll bet women find this a welcome relief.”
“They do. And, if the truth were known, many men do too. Without all the pressure and all the expectations, everyone is free to be him or herself. Everyone benefits. It’s a win-win for all.”
End of Chapter ten -- The CLI Circle Principles
Take me to Book One -- Chapter Eleven
Eden or Cosmic Titanic
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Footnotes and References
8-1 8-1 As the author of this book, I feel obligated to inform you, the reader, that if you choose to read the remainder of this book, it will have an irreversible effect on your life, also. So, before you read any further, you need to make a conscious choice between your status quo and a potentially profound new life. Yes, I know this is still another of those seemingly shallow decisions with deep implications, but, like it or not, you are now forced to make still another choice. Isn’t freedom just a bitch sometimes?
8-4 8-4 This concept is explained very well and in considerable detain in the book, A New Beginning Vol. I; by Jerry and Esther Hicks, Published by Crown International © 1994. <http://www.abraham-hicks.com>”
"A New Beginning" is book one of a two-volume set and is highly recommended reading for those who are serious about improving their relationships, mastering the CLI Connection arts, or accomplishing anything else in their lives. Why is this book recommended? Because, if you don’t know the rules of the game, its’ very hard to play and all but impossible to win.
8-5 8-5 All of the CLI Connections and CLI circles concepts, ideas, and rules are explained in great detail on our Sensual Delights website: http://www.Sensual-Delights.net#gr